For some of you who have known me for a while you know that I moved from Tennessee a month ago and well it has not been what I expected. When I first felt the Tug to come to Illinois I was very excited because I felt that following your heart would just be the most amazing thing ever :). I know that following your heart is a commonly used slogan and I was very excited to take my try at it. I wanted to leave the nest and see where my wings can take me....and if I can fly at all. I was on a journey to find something....something that I could not tangibly explain other than to say that it was of the heart...I wanted to search out my heart and I was being Lead to find it in Illinois...of all places.
So I came to Illinois with all sorts of fanciful and imaginative expectations and what I found was a decently rude awakening. God had a few questions for me to answer and He knew He had to get me somewhere away from the noise to listen. Two questions that He has asked me since being here are..." Are you ready to be a man now?" and "Do you love Me over these?"..."these" being the things that I have been accustomed to turn to for years when things got bad, difficult, or when I am happy....in other word, idols. He wanted to be that need instead of what else I put in that place. All places of escape have been blocked off and the surprising thing is that I still fight going to the logical Source...I still have to choose to go to Him. Interestingly though....all the things that I expected to gain from moving has been happening, just not the way I wanted....there is a lot more challenge than I wanted :). Still me and God are on the right track. He has been listening to me all along and preparing to answer my prayers....its just going to be done the best way instead of my way, and so I see more fully what Solomon meant by "The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps?"
So I came to Illinois with all sorts of fanciful and imaginative expectations and what I found was a decently rude awakening. God had a few questions for me to answer and He knew He had to get me somewhere away from the noise to listen. Two questions that He has asked me since being here are..." Are you ready to be a man now?" and "Do you love Me over these?"..."these" being the things that I have been accustomed to turn to for years when things got bad, difficult, or when I am happy....in other word, idols. He wanted to be that need instead of what else I put in that place. All places of escape have been blocked off and the surprising thing is that I still fight going to the logical Source...I still have to choose to go to Him. Interestingly though....all the things that I expected to gain from moving has been happening, just not the way I wanted....there is a lot more challenge than I wanted :). Still me and God are on the right track. He has been listening to me all along and preparing to answer my prayers....its just going to be done the best way instead of my way, and so I see more fully what Solomon meant by "The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps?"
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