Chasing The Promise Land...I'm married, what do I do now?

Finding The Promise Land, again:

So, in the Bible there is this story about a people (Israelites) that used to be enslaved by Egypt thousands of years ago. They were enslaved for like 400 yrs...yea that's a long time. I mean, I'm black and so apparently I should know what it means to be enslaved and stuff, but I don't. And well any black person in America that says they do, well, they really shouldn't know either. Anyway black people before me knew and well the Israelites knew, at least the ones back then did. The story of Israel trekking across deserts, fighting epic battles, and enduring hardships like no other to gain a Land of their own is pretty awesome. It is in fact my favorite story of the Bible, somebody should make it into a movie or something...oh, wait...well someone should make it into a movie a second time, with CGI and explosions and stuff. Anyway Israel really, really thought that if they got to the Promise Land that it would just be awesome, no more worries...fruit on every vine and stuff like that to be precise; they just had to get there already. My thoughts since getting married is: So what is getting there? How do I know if I am there? I think I need Bono to start singing "Still haven't found what I am looking for..." right about now because I'm still looking, just looking with more satisfaction these days, without loneliness...which is way, way awesome to not have to deal with anymore. But, what I am trying to say is that I think we all struggle with trying to find the Promise Land. We want to find a place were we feel like we are set, no more worries, and feel that it is all good. Some songs say it's found in sex, some still actually say marriage, some say sports, seeking the thrill, running a marathon, going to Africa, pretty much just insert your ambition here and that is what we feel is going to get us to a place of peace and lack of want. Yet, I say that I am still looking...I cannot find it.

Where Exactly Have I been Looking?:

Well, lately I have been looking for the Promised Land in work or career to be specific. This school year is actually going pretty good so far, like the kids don't cuss me out or say my life sucks this year (like last year), so that's pretty nice. So because of this I have been super motivated to work hard to be a good teacher and you know what, it has been working. "Mr. Thomas, this class goes by fast" one student said so far this year, and another has said "I like your class, I look forward to coming here." But ya know, even with all that and with everything going so much better in comparison to last year, I get a little worried when I get time to sit and think because deep down inside myself I know one thing is still true, I still don't feel content. I mean, teaching is hard stuff. I think I have lost another 10 pounds since school started and it has been just from teaching. And, well...I just know that teaching a perfect lesson on a perfect day will still leave me searching, searching for an even better, grander, awesomer day...and that will just drive me crazy. I can see work-aholic brewing, and I would never guess I could be that, yet I can see it happening. So what is causing this? It's me chasing the Promise Land, I guess. 

Alyssa and I have done a lot of talking, talking about what we want to do and what church we want to settle in and what city we want to live in and yadda yadda yadda and in all of that I am still just hoping to find the Promise Land. So if I have to communicate one actually sensible thought here I would just say that if you are single and trying to marry or if you are married and trying to be single or if you are whatever and trying to be whatever else....it's not going to be the Promised Land. The Promised Land is in Christ.

So with Christ:

So with Christ I am trying to rethink things. I'm trying to see what I can do and if it is what is best for what God wants to do in me (or us actually). I'm not looking for the home run, just want to get on base...and I want to be okay with not knowing if I will get to second or third or home on a predetermined time frame. This sucks ya know? Not knowing what is specifically next really sucks. But I bet this is the whole idea of why Moses didn't just transport Israel right into the Promise Land at the start anyway. Alyssa and I really like this new church in Houston, I mean David Crowder and his band played there recently for crying out loud...and the church is cool, they try to be relevant and in and through the communities and stuff. I can see myself being there, serving there, dare I say even working there. But I have to hold the horses. I mean, I got more responsibility now. I got a wife to think about in all this "me" talk now. Yea, stuff just got real! Real good too! And also, mainly, and most importantly I have to hold my horses because this new church is not the Promised Land either. The Promise Land is Christ. Hopefully you can relate to me in my struggles and experiences and find peace in whatever search you are enduring, enjoying, or experiencing knowing that the search is ongoing but it becomes satisfying when we give up swinging for the fence. I think I will end it with Paul who once said that he had found the secret of being content, Philippians 4:10-13.  Yea, thanks Paul...you always know the right things to say.